How You’re Making Your Divorce More Expensive
Geoff Williams, a regular contributor to U.S. News & World Report, wrote an article last year entitled How You’re Making Your Divorce More Expensive. It’s not only eye-opening, but very honest. I would encourage any client considering divorce to read it. The article lays out a number of contributing factors known to cause the price tag on your divorce case to skyrocket, nearly all of which are at least somewhat controllable by the client(s). Some of these factors include:
Factor #1 - Involve the divorce lawyers as little as possible
Keep in mind, attorneys typically work at an hourly rate. All too many times, I have seen parties agree on various aspects of their case, only to be stifled by an attorney who seemingly wants to draw the case out. The result: a much higher bill! While you should obviously never make major decisions (and never sign anything) without consulting your attorney, routine issues such as swapping a weekend with the kids, or deciding who will pay for their braces, are often matters that should not involve litigation. While we at Vecchione & Associates, P.A. are always willing to lend an understanding ear to your divorce issues, attorneys aren't therapists, and even the best therapists are sure to cost much less per hour.
Factor #2 - Don’t be an emotional spender
While the article talks primarily about refraining from spoiling your children because you feel bad about the divorce, there is another type of emotional spending that I see time and time again in divorce cases. The line often goes something like this, ‘I’d rather pay my attorney an astronomical fee than give [my ex-spouse] a dime!’ You’ll be hard-pressed to find many attorneys who will argue this logic (see factor #1), but you should always think big picture. If you’re more than willing to spend on exorbitant attorney’s fees, you may find it more difficult to argue a lack of funds later on down the road; an issue that might come up later regarding issues such as alimony. Likewise, as the article points out, “…if your ex is trying to get custody of the iTunes account you spent hundreds on, don’t spend thousands trying to wrestle it back.” Remember, many of the rewards you’ll feel from your divorce are non-financial and non-tangible. You cannot put a price on your sanity and emotional well-being.
Factor #3 - Recognize that there will never be a completely fair split
A saying I often use (though do not take credit for creating): ‘If both parties walk away from a settlement/mediation a little upset, it was a very successful outcome.’ Remember, the point of mediation is to arrange an outcome which is as fair as possible to both parties. Things are being split. As such, each person typically has to bend a little beyond the point they might feel comfortable. It’s all about finding a resolution both parties can live with, not necessarily one which makes both parties happy.
